some things never change

02/04/2009 6:36 am
Subject:
police report shown to people
Message:
whatever happens between you n me is the past yani.ok i except my mistake for saying those words n i already try my best to stay away from you by not covering your office as to avoid any contact or so call future accusation/allegations.so pls dont make things go hard for me by broedcasting to the whole singpost bout it.i only told eric ,sima n mahesh for they have the right to know since i'm covering east side n reason why i cant..i dont understand why must you tell others especially bout that police report to your colleuges.you dont have to asked me who for you know who you told to.(sigh)perhaps....its just who you are like what others said before n i dont blame them.i'm sorry if i have to say this.if i were you,i look myself in the mirror and see which edge n corner of it need to be changed for i've look far enough in the mirror n thats why i realised........and one more thing.if you're think you are pretty,,,think again........i was blind before.you dont n surprisingly i dont understand why i fall for you.

*Kindly pardon the quality of the above content* I received this msg from my Friendster account which I almost believed that I already deleted the account. Needless to guess who this sore sender was. Mr Sahib must have all the time in the world to keep having me on his mind. That was what went onto my mind when I finished reading his msg. I never wanted to hurt anyone when I told him, on the way back from a New year's countdown at Sue's workplace eons ago! " Hey what is your resolution? " I remember asking him that question and I told myself to REALLY stop dating this guy! As we were coming to my stop I told him " for myself, I'd want to us to stop seeing each other! I loved Melvin so much it hurts me being with you. Please forgive me. This rebound r'ship will never work. " I got off the cab and celebrated my achievement.

What I didn't know was he took pretty drastic measures. He left the branch. Every colleague gave me an earful. I have always felt that Sahib is really pitiful. He is a nice man, just misunderstood. For me, I'm always learning how to express how I feel. Words weren't arranged to speak the kindest language of sorry. I know he was deeply hurt. To be fair, I did try to like him. I did, as a friend. I kept to myself about how terrible it felt to be me. Being dumped and yet wonder why this poor fella has to come along and make things worse. I became a heart breaker, after being heartbroken. Somehow, I was also glad cos I'd feel. I was thankful I didn't feel empty. That made me feel human.

Months went by. Heard that he was engaged. I was glad. I was happy that the poor fella found his soul mate. He came by a few times to showcase his then fiancee. Pretty, he tells everyone as if it was to assure himself that he was going to marry the most beautiful angel. I thanked God I need not even look. I have never seen her except in the album which he was concerned if I saw. Strangely enough, I was informed by himself that the engagement ended and he wants me back. Right then I got scared of him. Phil was there with me when I filed a report against Sahib for his threats. With the report as an 'amulet', I felt somewhat at ease.

Everything went back to normal. Weeks ago, I received another sms from him. A wedding announcement. I showed it to two men who laughed. I ignored him and prayed to God that this man will not haunt me. Keep him happy and not be shadowed by my mistake. Forgive me. Today, his msg proved only one thing. He believed I was pretty. That was his mistake. At 35 and behaving this way, I'd only wonder if he ever loved or only wanted to possess me so that I'd love him as much as I once loved Melvin.