surprise

Days back, I attended a rude customer. He was in his fifties so I decided to bear with his throwing of cash and NRIC on my desk. What made me pissed is when I asked him about his remittance amount, he shot "semua lah, bodoh!''.. I repeated the amount received and proceed to quickly get his transaction done.

Just when I thought it's over, that elderly demanded for his change! I was like huh? What change is it now? I explained there isn't any change as i have confirmed the remittance. "Encik, saya bertanya dengan baik tadi. Pada pendapat saya, encik bersikap kurang sopan tau! Maaf kalau kebodohan saya tidak dapat memahami encik!" *stares*

After which the unexpected happened! He took his receipt and threw it right at my face! *There goes my powder and blush.. lol* I imagined myself smacking him at that point which trying to calm myself. Hands were shaking with anger and humiliation. I took his receipt, pushed it back towards him and firmly reminded him that the transfer is completed. I didn't take away any extra cash. I pointed to the amount on the receipt which clearly states the remittance amount and charges which tallied with what he gave, or rather threw on my desk. Customers may always be right but at times, they need to be taught to see their ugly selves!

Headed home that day feeling really down. I could hardly wait to share how terrible I feel with my man. It hurt me more when Phil didn't show any interest in my bad day grumbles. I assumed he was being his nonchalant self as always.

Days went by and I put the episode behind me. Guess what?? This morning, that nasty customer came! He apologised over the unpleasant incident. Somehow my colleague overheard the awkward conversation. She observed us. She told me I was staring blankly at the monitor when he muttered sorry. I was expressionless.

Just how should I take it? Smile at him and say "hey it's ok! no worries.. the next time you want to piss someone off with your rudeness, make sure it's not me??" I do understand that it takes courage to admit our wrongs and mean it when we say sorry. To me, he is just another nasty old man. When I got home in the evening, I received a basket of flowers from my man. That is sweet but I think I deserved some concern from him, the nonchalant one!

wonder if..

Just how do we tell if someone who matters is worth the fight? I asked myself in the cab ride home. He was seated by my side but I can feel emptiness in my heart. He wiped my tears away. I remained silent. On my mind, I wonder if he still meant a lot; enough for me to defend our love.

Last night, i was told that one of my aunts spoke to my cousin; suggesting he'd talk to me about our relationship. It was totally random it caught me almost offguard. I reasoned that being 27, i'd (be able to) be responsible for my own decisions and weigh the consequences. Nosey aunt's just unnecessarily concerned about me wasting my youth away. To set the record straight, I know my stand. I only need my immediate family's blessings. I hope I'd not bring shame to my parents abusing the freedom and trust they gave me.

I was bothered that my aunt had to talk to my cousin on this matter which is seriously none of her business. Since when does it mean that we'd be married just by seeing each other exclusively!? My parents dated for 12 years before they eventually got married. Way back, did anyone guessed that the interracial couple'd even have a family together? Having said that, I never dreamt of marrying anyone yet! I've my ideal wedding in mind but seriously no wedding is in the cards! I highlighted to my mum that should she have any concerns, she'd directly share with me rather than going thru others!

Lately I came to wonder why I can't share what i feel as openly as before. He actually meant a lot. Convinced I love, I believe that I'll defend him,no matter. Sadly, we have this disturbing inability to express ourselves. Often, i shared my views only to feel disappointed with his nonchalant behaviour. Although he claimed otherwise, those were the negative vibes i got from his responses. I thought about us and wonders if tears will be here as frequent as way back when i dated Woon. I'm tired being the one who loves in sadness and not knowing if this love is worth fighting for. Keeping a relationship going strong is never easy and for me, this is a re-test of faith.

Happy tots

Woohoo.. I'm done with my papers! For the very first time, despite the madnesss of trying to get my mind in sync with the correct formulaes and formats, I finished both the Finance and Stats papers convinced I really did my best. Nevermind how the grades will be, but I feel accomplished knowing I didn't let myself down. =)

My cousin is due to give birth to my very first niece anytime soon. I'm so exicited about her arrival. It just adds to the happy vibes about the upcoming long weekend.