for he is my answered prayer.

This entry isn't about all the updates I stopped sharing since Aug.

Today, we spent the late afternoon trying to come up with a decision. B called me just when I was about to msg him. However when I heard him speak, I know very well that something is not right. I was filled with worry and even while in the shower, I actually cried and prayed. God, keep me sane. Is B troubled over the same issue which ended our relationship? Questions occupied my mind. I got scared. I almost didn't find the courage to see him. He sent me a msg to bring the bible along. I knew he is definitely troubled and quickly make my way to be with him.

For the past year, we never got back together. We remain close. I'd still wait up for his calls every night. He'd always listen to me as I confide in him. We'd catch movies or have dinner. Even my close friends asked if we were back together. I'd jokingly tell them he is my best movie buddy or my TTM. On another note, I'd firmly say I love him as always. I love him being so passionate about his faith.

One night, years ago I said a prayer and God did answer mine. He is my answered prayer. I remember I told God to heal my pain and please send me love who will guide me closer to God. When B came into my life, I thank God for being kind to me. We went through challenges together. Somehow today I know my B has to make a painful decision. I know right from the start, this man is gonna be a leader. I can't be selfish and keep him. Ironically it is this passion about God which attracts me to him.

I'm angry with the need to either choose me or being the leader he's always wanted to be. Why can't he do what he wants and guide me? Why must he leave? Who should I talk to before I sleep? He will no longer be able to cheer me up. I spent hours crying. He felt terrible. He read the bible and it is always so interesting to hear B explain the bible. If I'd have my way, I'd want him happy.

B, I don't know if you'd read this. There are times when you absolutely see no solution. When you've thought and thought and prayed and prayed; when you've sat still in meditation listening for an answer and still no answer comes. There are times when it's okay to just surrender.

for you are our rainbow, happy colourful 1st!

           

              

 

                     

Krabi

Passport to sunny Krabi!

We'd our lunch by the poolside...all to ourselves!

I was away in Krabi with these ladies. Brenda and Kim are Naz's ex colleagues. Although it is my first trip with these girls, ( given the fact that I just got to know them. ) they made nice companions. We had room service for our first dinner. It was simply awesome. It was indeed authentic Thai food. We caught a ghost story in Thai. No subtitles yet it scare the hell out of us. We had adjacent rooms so we had access to both. We talked our first rainy evening away. Conversations about relationships, men in our lives, pap smears and tampons! We were laughing a lot. I'm thankful we'd click. Headed out to do some souvenirs shopping at night. It was hilarious when we tried to bargain. I think it'd be the most memorable bargain episode for us.

We were looking for a top to match with our swim wear. We will be visiting beaches the next day. I found a pink long top which I'd go along with my tankini and shorts. Brenda liked the black sundress. We figured if we were to buy the two in a purchase, we'd ask for a discount. I've always preferred online-shopping and to ask for discounts isn't what I grew up with.

Salesgirl: You want to get? 150 Baht
Me:If buy 2, can get cheaper?
Salesgirl:You try first.

She quickly served an Angmoh and we observed that she obviously know that she can't let that big fish swim away. Brenda tried on the dress and I knew I'll just buy my top without trying. I don't think I want to wear it for than once anyway. That is probably why I thought we'd join forces to get the pieces cheaper.

Salesgirl (after made a killing over a pair of sunglasses) :How? You want buy?
Us: Tell us how much if buy 2.
Salesgirl: You tell me how much you want to buy for.
Us after a brief discussion: Best price 250 Baht? ( Pathetic look as I hope that she'd give the green light to my first bargain attempt..)
Salesgirl shaking her head: You take two. Best price 150 Baht!
Us: huh? THANK YOU!.. (laughs at our victory and rushed out off her stall before there is a change of mind!)

Did we just get a Buy 1 Free 1 purchase?! The salesgirl must have screwed up in Maths! We refused to even walk past the stall cos we laughed so hard. Even as we enjoy our massage session, we were laughing about that salesgirl. We must have been so proud!

The second day, we woke up early for our islands-hopping tour. Sleep was sound. Perhaps having a good massage helped. We took a lorry to the beach before our tour. I felt like one of the banglas back in Singapore having to be seated in a full transport as we picked up other tourists. We took a speed boat to get to places. The ride was crazy. Sings 'Jumping jumping'. I'd hear my fats around my waist scream. It was drizzling and the sea was choppy!

My pink top I got in a bargain.

Us with Malek, a Muslim Thai tour guide.

At night the girls went for another massage session while I had my hair braided. It took 2 hours. It costs me about S$50. It reminds me how my mother used to braid my hair when I was 21. Alicia Keys had braids then and I loved that look.

If I'd ring the bell for good service in Vouge Resort & Spa, I'd do so a few times!

It took 2 Thais two hours to braid my long curls this way!

I came home really tanned. Definitely happy to see B fetch me at the budget terminal. I missed this man a lot during my 3D2N vacation. When I heard from him that he missed hearing me for the 3 days, I feel so loved. B, you will always be a heart beat away cos I love you so much! We'd go on vacations together someday.