February 3, 2011

Spring is here


Mama suddenly asked if I wished B a happy CNY. I was caught off-guard. How'd I do that? People who meant more to B'd make sure that we do not keep in touch. Needless to say, B will remain to ignore me. Am I really a sin, that he has to redeem himself by leaving me? I used to wonder and sob at the thought of how much he values my presence in his life. Now? My tears form and fall on auto-mode when I think of him, feeling abandoned. When you truly love someone, there will be never a time when you don’t anymore. You don't behave like nothing is missing when you have been blessed with that someone who was always there for you for a good three years. It's more impact than completing tertiary education, so I'm normal but I'm more dramatic. Perhaps, B is normal. Only God knows.

My parents are an awesome duo. Papa shared about their love story. The main reason why he stayed true to Mama for 12 years of courtship despite the difference, was he never wanted to let Mama down. He knew he had to be responsible for their love. Isn't that sweet? That was also why my parents were never against our relationship. Papa says they will always want me to be happy and respect my decision. It was hurtful that B didn't fight for our friendship. If he did, I'd no idea. B probably didn't know that he hurt me most when I felt so discriminated by the man I love enough. B. I really miss having him around. B don't need me as much.


This CNY, I didn't visit my relatives in Malaysia. Uncle's place was affected by flood. For a change, we headed to Sentosa. I thought it was early until I reached Vivocity and had to join the very long queue! Be it the local or foreign Chinese, there were definitely a lot of them. My sisters and I felt as if we were joining the crowd for Singapore Idol. It's the start of the Flowers Festival 2011 in Sentosa. There is a new walkway from Vivocity to Sentosa, maybe one day I'd take a stroll there. I didn't want my parents to walk too much.




Papa paid for ice-cream and tickets to Butterfly Kingdom, UnderwaterWorld and Dolphin Lagoon. We'd loads of family fun. At the Butterfly Kingdom, I was excited to have witnessed the birth of two butterflies! When they got out of their cocoon, it was definitely a beautiful sight! Initially it was freaking eww when I kept having the thought of touching a caterpillar at the back of my mind. It's a worm, for heaven's sake! Then I overcame my fear and screams, I insisted that I'd take a cute pic with a butterfly! Sis did so easily.


I used my way to get the butterfly pose with me. I was mean but I tried not to hold onto it for too long. Yay!




Underwater World brought back memories. I went with B before. My family and I played with the sting rays. Papa definitely loved this visit. He was able to tell us quite a bit about fish. Occupational hazard. I have been blessed with such good photogenic memory. I'd remember my trip with B vividly. I told myself to enjoy camwhoring and take unglam pictures! People who walked past as I made faces laughed too. I was such a clown even when I was reminded of him.

We headed for the Dolphin Lagoon. It was different from the one B brought me. Nevertheless, entertaining. We loved the show by the dolphins and the seals. There was a CNY extra. We watched a mask show. A Chinese man did quick changes of masks before he showed his face at the end. We headed back feeling super hungry. We got irritated that no only Sentosa'd long queues for food, it was the same for Vivocity. More Chinese came after their visiting, I suppose. We were greeted by an even more crowd as we headed back.


I cannot remember the last time we visited such places of interest. In fact, when was the last time we took a day off other commitments and just spend time capturing these memories into prints? We'd really do this more often while our parents are still around. I heard my parents telling each other that we're no longer their lil ones. We grow up and they grow old. I feel that truth hurts cos even that I'm all grown up, my parents'd to worry for me especially when it comes to my love life.


Happy Note: My parents were exceptionally thoughtful. They know I love tulips so when they saw pictures of tulips in the brochure, they even wanted to buy some for me! We took a family pic with giant tulips in the background. I was really happy! We took pictures till the battery died on us. My puffy eyes didn't hide my sadness even as I smiled widely for the camera.

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