Second

I was bored and getting impatient as I waited in the clinic. I did a mental calculation on T-I-M-E. It's been a month now and that is 2,592,000 seconds since the last call from the number 2 on my handphone speed dial. It came to mind that Ian once asked me about the story behind number 2. I could remember explaining how Phil used to be my 2 O'clock man. He was also represented by the second alphabet. He was the other half to complete my heart. Having said that, I realize I found other reasons. Coincidentally, he walked out of my life on Tuesday, for the second time. He was the second man I loved enough to get hurt. Perhaps, the one I put myself second after him.

When my true feelings were crushed and thrown out into the cold like my favorite Tatty Bear, I wondered if the one I care the most, appreciates me as much as I do when it comes to him and if I've not done enough. I'm beginning to come to terms with the painful possibility that I'd have been second to everything else which matter to him. The true story of 2 is the past no longer matter. Maybe I'm just a memory if he'd remember with that forgetful heart. Only God knows. =)